Dating for veterans
He may believe that he’s the only one who feels this way; eventually he may realize that at least other combat vets understand.On some level, he doesn’t want you to understand, because that would mean you had shared his most horrible experience, and he wants someone to remain innocent. He doesn’t understand that you have a mama bear inside of you, that probably any of us could kill in defense of someone if we needed to.It’s a nineteen-year-old boy who’s had a sip of that power over life and death that war gives you.It’s a boy who, despite all the things he’s been taught, knows that he likes it.Succeeding in combat defines a warrior, places him in a brotherhood where he is always welcome and understood. It would be easy for him to die for you because he loves you.The civilian world has its adrenaline junkies as well; just ask any retired firefighter, police officer, or emergency room staff if they miss it. Living for you, which is what you actually want, is harder for him.It’s a nineteen-year-old who’s just lost a friend, and is angry and scared, and determined that some *%#& is gonna pay.
These are generalizations; not all veterans have these reactions, but they are the concerns most commonly shared with me. The adrenaline rush is tremendous, and can never be replaced.He may have grown up with explosive anger (violent alcoholic father? What kind of skills does a nineteen-year-old have to deal with that kind of responsibility?One of my veterans put it this way: “You want to know what frightening is?He may make an exception for his children (because they cannot divorce him), but that will be instinctual and he will probably not be able to explain his actions. This was true of our beloved “Greatest Generation” warriors of WWII, and it remains true to this day.Technically, your warrior may well be a killer, as are his friends.